Post by Failed Muso on Nov 5, 2009 9:59:35 GMT
Not many people know this, but today is the day that our very own beloved Steve Howell reaches a major milestone, that being the ripe old age of 87! (his real age is known only by a small group of pixies that live in a disused steel works in Swansea)
Over the years Steve has seen frontline battle combat in Holland, France and Berlin in the last days of WWII, whilst over-seeing the surrender of Nazi Germany to the Allies. After this, he flew well over 350 spy missions over the USSR, whilst performing numerous secret moon landings.
Steve also has been an avid inventor of stuff and his many contributions to the world have been things like water, death, clouds, Marmite, swine flu and of course the Alesis Combine Harvester.
Steve married Audrey Hepburn, but they later divorced when his affair with Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second became public knowledge. He has sired in excess of 27 children, many of which were conceived simply by looking at their mother.
Steve has a bionic testicle which used to also be the transmitter for Radio Luxembourg and is now housed in the British Science Museum after it was replaced by a virtual bollock.
In more recent years, Steve has been at the forefront of environmental issues, loaning his beard to the World Wildlife Fund in their attempt to reintroduce Llama's to the Snowdonia National Park.
His semen has become the number one cure for cancer in the world and his farts are bottled and shipped to the Calvin Klein perfume factory to provide the clinically clean environment in which they produce their foul smelling colognes.
So, raise your glass and toast this mediocre man without whom we would not have colonised Mars and whose fornication habits are the stuff of legend.
Oh, and he did some stuff for Akai & Alesis inbetween taking a big shit and wiping his arse last Thursday.
Happy Birthday Steve!!!
Over the years Steve has seen frontline battle combat in Holland, France and Berlin in the last days of WWII, whilst over-seeing the surrender of Nazi Germany to the Allies. After this, he flew well over 350 spy missions over the USSR, whilst performing numerous secret moon landings.
Steve also has been an avid inventor of stuff and his many contributions to the world have been things like water, death, clouds, Marmite, swine flu and of course the Alesis Combine Harvester.
Steve married Audrey Hepburn, but they later divorced when his affair with Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second became public knowledge. He has sired in excess of 27 children, many of which were conceived simply by looking at their mother.
Steve has a bionic testicle which used to also be the transmitter for Radio Luxembourg and is now housed in the British Science Museum after it was replaced by a virtual bollock.
In more recent years, Steve has been at the forefront of environmental issues, loaning his beard to the World Wildlife Fund in their attempt to reintroduce Llama's to the Snowdonia National Park.
His semen has become the number one cure for cancer in the world and his farts are bottled and shipped to the Calvin Klein perfume factory to provide the clinically clean environment in which they produce their foul smelling colognes.
So, raise your glass and toast this mediocre man without whom we would not have colonised Mars and whose fornication habits are the stuff of legend.
Oh, and he did some stuff for Akai & Alesis inbetween taking a big shit and wiping his arse last Thursday.
Happy Birthday Steve!!!