Post by Jesse on Dec 12, 2006 0:06:44 GMT
A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds, and then it comes crashing back down to earth. He tries this a few more times with no success.
All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.
She opens the window and yells to her husband, "What you need is a piece of tail."
The man turns with a confused look on his face and says, "Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite."
=============================================
A wife comes home early from work one day only to find her husband in bed with a strange woman.
She says, "That's it, I'm leaving and never coming back."
He says, "Don't you at least want to hear my explanation?"
She shrugs and says, "Fine, let's hear your story. And this had better be good!"
He says, "Well, I'm driving along the street, when I see this young lady in torn clothes, no shoes, all muddy and crying. I took pity on her and asked if she would like to get cleaned up in my house. She climbed into my truck and I brought her home. She took a shower, I gave her the underwear that doesn't fit you anymore, the silk blouse and slacks that I bought you two years ago that you wore once, the $150 Nike running shoes you bought and wore only twice. I even gave her some of the roast beef you had in the fridge, that you never served me! ! Then I showed her to the door. She was so grateful for all these things and she thanked me profusely. But then, as she was about to leave she turned around and asked me........
"Is there anything else your wife doesn't use anymore?"
All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.
She opens the window and yells to her husband, "What you need is a piece of tail."
The man turns with a confused look on his face and says, "Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite."
=============================================
A wife comes home early from work one day only to find her husband in bed with a strange woman.
She says, "That's it, I'm leaving and never coming back."
He says, "Don't you at least want to hear my explanation?"
She shrugs and says, "Fine, let's hear your story. And this had better be good!"
He says, "Well, I'm driving along the street, when I see this young lady in torn clothes, no shoes, all muddy and crying. I took pity on her and asked if she would like to get cleaned up in my house. She climbed into my truck and I brought her home. She took a shower, I gave her the underwear that doesn't fit you anymore, the silk blouse and slacks that I bought you two years ago that you wore once, the $150 Nike running shoes you bought and wore only twice. I even gave her some of the roast beef you had in the fridge, that you never served me! ! Then I showed her to the door. She was so grateful for all these things and she thanked me profusely. But then, as she was about to leave she turned around and asked me........
"Is there anything else your wife doesn't use anymore?"
